A situation that I encounter all too frequently is elderly homeowners receiving poor advise. Many times this poor advice is from friends or family members who have a financial interest in decisions made about the disposition of the home after death. Frequently they are adult children. Let me tell you a real story.

A fellow Aging Life Care Association (ALCA) member referred me to an 89-year-old woman named Francine who was the primary care giver for her 87-year-old husband. Ronald was incontinent and suffering from Alzheimer’s dementia. He also had been receiving therapy for cancer. Francine was worn out and not thinking all that clearly about money. She needed home health care for her husband and had contacted ALCA for a referral. She figured that if she could just have help five hours a day she would be all right. That would be 30 hours a week not including Sunday.

Francine and I did a budget. She had $2700 coming into the house from pension and Social Security.  Her home was worth $600,000 and she had a monthly mortgage payment of $750 per month. If she could get a qualified person for only $40 an hour she would need $4800 a month for home health care. There was no way this was going to work. We had to find more income.

We discussed the facts about reverse mortgages. I suggested to Francine that with a HECM-Tenure-Payment-Program we could pay off her mortgage, eliminate her monthly mortgage payment and create lifetime payments to her of $5100 a month. This would not only give her enough money to take care of Ronald and make him comfortable, it would give her extra income per month so that she would not have to go into credit cards to make ends meet and would replace the Social Security income she would lose after Ronald passed away first.

Francine said no, she would not even consider a reverse mortgage because her daughter Sherry, who was a paralegal, had told her they were bad. I convinced her to let me call Sherry. I got Sherry on the phone later that same day. We made plans to meet.

Over coffee I explained to Sherry everything that her mother and I had discussed. She said no she didn’t think a reverse mortgage was a good idea. I asked if she and her brother could help her parents out with $600 a week each. She said no. She confirmed that when both parents were gone that she and her brother intended to sell the home. We discussed every fallacy about reverse mortgages. I gave her all the facts. I showed her all the numbers.

There was no logical reason not to do this loan. So I said,

"That only leaves one of two reasons not to do this, Sherry. Either emotionally you feel the need to hurt your parents for some reason or you don’t want any of your inheritance to be used to improve your parents’ lives. Either way that is abusing your parents and you shouldn’t do it."

The tears began to fall and she finally opened up to me. In this case, I was able to overcome an abusive situation. That is not always the case.

Don’t let this happen in your family, to your clients, friends or neighbors. HECM programs were designed to help people like Ronald and Francine receive proper care and have a better quality of life. No one should be abused for their inheritance or made to suffer as a form of revenge.

Recognizing Signs of Elder Abuse​

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Physical Abuse

• Signs of being restrained, such as rope marks on wrists
• Unexplained signs of injury such as bruises, welts, scars, broken bones or sprains
• Over or under medication
• Broken eyeglasses or frame
• Caregiver’s refusal to allow you to see the person alone
• Report of drug overdose or apparent failure to take medication regularly
• Physical or chemical restraints for caregiver’s convenience

Financial Exploitation

• Significant or unauthorized withdrawals from the elder’s accounts
• Sudden changes in the elder’s financial condition
• Items of cash missing from the household
• Suspicious changes in wills, power of attorney, titles and policies
• Addition of names to the elder’s signature card
• Unpaid bills or lack of medical care, although the elder has enough money to pay for them
• Financial activity the elder couldn’t have done, such as ATM withdrawals by a bedridden account holder
• Unnecessary services, goods or subscriptions
• Unusual change in spending habits

Neglect By Caregivers and Self-Neglect

• Unusual weight loss, malnutrition, dehydration
• Untreated physical problems, such as bed sores
• Unsanitary living conditions: dirt, bugs, soiled bedding and clothes
• Poor hygiene, lack of clean or appropriate clothing
• Unsafe living conditions (No heat or running water; faulty electrical wiring, fire hazards)
• Desertion of the elder at a public place

Emotional Abuse

• Threatening, belittling, or controlling caregiver behavior that you witness
• Caregiver isolates elder: refuses to allow access to visitors, mail, phone, etc.
• Uncharacteristic behavior such as withdrawal or changes in alertness

Sexual Abuse

• Bruises around breasts or genitals
• Unexplained sexually transmitted diseases or unexplained vaginal or anal bleeding
• Torn, stained or bloody underclothing

Scams

• Constant phone calls from various phone numbers
• Elder/adult suddenly wiring money
• Large accumulation of lottery mail
• Elder/adult secretive about a relationship with someone they have not met in person

Resources to Protect Older Adults

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Educating seniors, professionals, caregivers, and the public on abuse is critical to prevention. If you’re an older adult, you can stay safe by:

• Taking care of your health.
• Seeking professional help for drug, alcohol, and depression concerns and urging family members to get help for these problems.
• Attending support groups for spouses and learning about domestic violence services.
• Planning for your own future. With a power of attorney or a living will, you can address health care decisions now to avoid confusion and family problems later. Seek independent advice from someone you trust before signing any documents.
• Staying active in the community and connected with friends and family. This will decrease social isolation, which has been connected to elder abuse.
• Posting and opening your own mail.
• Not giving personal information over the phone.
• Using direct deposit for all checks.
• Having your own phone.
• Reviewing your will periodically.
• Knowing your rights. If you engage the services of a paid or family caregiver, you have the right to voice your preferences and concerns. If you live in a nursing home, call your Long Term Care Ombudsman. The ombudsman is your advocate and has the power to intervene.

Here are some sources for Legal Assistance in California:

• Bet Tzedek Legal Services- 323-939-0506

• California State Attorney General- 800-952-5225
• Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles- 800-399-4529
• Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office Elder Abuse Hotline 877-477-3646
• Los Angeles County Bar Association Lawyer Referral & Information Smart Law 213-243-1525
• Los Angeles County District Attorney Elder Abuse Section 213-257-2290
• Los Angeles County Public Administrator Public Guardian 213-974-0515
• CANHR State Bar Certified Lawyer Referral Service 800-474-1116 ​

CALIFORNIA ADVOCATES FOR NURSING HOME REFORM
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​Since 1983, California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform (CANHR), a statewide nonprofit 501(c)(3) advocacy organization, has been dedicated to improving the choices, care and quality of life for California’s long term care consumers. CANHR’s goal is to educate and support long term care consumers and advocates regarding the rights and remedies under the law, and to create a united voice for long term care reform and humane alternatives to institutionalization.

Go to CANHR.org

CA Elder Law Advocate Guide

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Here is the excerpt about Reverse Mortgages and Elder law.

Reverse Mortgages and Elder Law